"I'm grateful for being alive | Ma olen tänulik, et olen elus" - Marita Liivak

Marita Liivak

Oil and Acrylic on canvas

170x150cm

Me and My Body

My relationship with my body is rather hectic – there are times when I feel strong, beautiful, in proportion, but other times, I feel bulky, heavy, clumsy and just a big pile of defects. Nevertheless, I grasp that there is no objective reality, it’s all about my feelings, self-reflection, and everything else is insignificant. I am totally confident that whether I’m a bit plumper or slimmer doesn't concern anyone. Frankly, I couldn't care less about someone’s weight or physical abilities. When I observe the people around me, the cool folks always radiate beauty, irrespective of their objective parameters.

Over time, I find it increasingly disturbing when people, mostly women, belittle themselves. It is rather annoying to listen to, especially because I’m guilty of the same. This tendency is so deeply encoded in us that it’s considered polite to say, “Oh, not me…” Yet, I feel that in recent years, I've made considerable progress in handling myself and my body. In fact, I'm grateful for being alive, able to walk, run, dance and create. And for my independence.

Furthermore, I believe I should serve as a role model for younger women and girls, showing them that the future isn’t horrible and one can feel good at any age. We must promote a general shift in society. Firstly, we don't have to define ourselves by some social parameters, although unfortunately, most of us do. We need to ask ourselves where these ideals come from and whether they contribute to our happiness.

Secondly, reflecting on my past, I see an unhappy version of myself. At the same time, it is evident that in my youth, many of my qualities were superior. What a paradox.